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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 25th, 2023

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  • A stable career path, a loving relationship, and permanent housing.

    More concise: Stability.

    It’s all I ever wanted and seemingly the only thing I can never have even since childhood. I move every 2 years on average and since adulthood that’s been from basement apartment to basement apartment and now to a garage with no end in sight… I finally got to the point where I could consider buying a house and then COVID, WFH, and the invesestment parasites all blew up at once and took that away from me… I gave up on the relationship bit years ago.





  • I’m glad 8bitdo exists, at least they don’t have stick drift lol.

    I’m actually kind of sad so many people deleted their reddit comments because I would have never fixed my ultimate C controller without a comment. I had no idea they had “hall effect” sensors or whatever so I thought I had stick drift until I found a reddit comment mentioning that you can’t have that and to just use rubbing alcohol to fix it, which it did!


  • Just want to back this one up: as someone rapidly approaching 40 who never loved himself, if anything absolutely loathes himself, repeating to yourself how absolutely horrible of a failure you are and how completely and utterly undeserving of anyone’s love you are daily will cement itself in your head as absolute fact.

    I can no longer actually comprehend that I can do anything well. I’m either a complete failure, or if I did it literally anyone with 2 braincells can. I actually do not believe anyone who says otherwise, it has become an objective truth in my brain backed up by decades of “evidence.”








  • Both clinically and in reference to current events/future issues.

    It has been at least 20 years that I’ve dealt with depression and simply not wanting to exist anymore. It’s probably only around 6-8 that I’ve also lost hope, developed frequent panic attacks, and have become depressed about my own future. I separate that from what I’d consider to be the “clinical” depression that is just my broken brain. The future of everyone globally is a whole nother layer of depression…

    As for those around me, everyone seems “happy” as far as they can be with their lot in life. Not depressed, some are just bummed about specific things.