I hope you can find another bread product that’s perfect for bushy eyebrows.

Ooh and maybe tiny bagels for eyes. That might be too silly or too small

They also get more bitter the longer they’re cooked. Even with the new variety, I suspect boiling Brussels sprouts might be off the table. Higher temps, or raw (shredded and put in a salad) may get you results you actually like.

Roasting at 230C (450F) for up to about 20 minutes should be good. You may be able to go as high as 260C (500F). If they look slightly burnt when they come out, that’s good. The bitter flavors that develop from burning are related to sugars, so brussel sprouts are largely immune.

I didn’t have brussel sprouts I liked until the 2010s, but now they’re one of my favorites.