“Softly” by Gordon Lightfoot is one of my favorite songs. On the surface it appears to be about a woman but I don’t think it is. I was listening to it one time when it just popped into my head, “Holy shit. He’s talking about the moon.”
I thought about writing him to ask if I was right and I kind of regret that I didn’t while he was still alive. The man was a poet of highest caliber. If you like or can at least listen to folk music, the album “Gord’s Gold” lives up to it’s name.
Headlines a short time later…
“GOP Proposes Banning Sacrificial Death Miracles”
AP News - Decrying the seemingly miraculous events of last week as “blatant socialism” and, rather ironically, “part of the woke agenda”, house Republicans have introduced a bill that would make sacrificing ones life altruistically a felony. When asked how they planned to prosecute the rotting corpse of the accused were the bill to pass, House Speaker Mike Johnson acknowledged the steep uphill battle, stating, “we will leave no gravestone unturned when it comes preventing ordinary Americans from having God-like benevolence and generosity forced upon them against their will.”
Starts off OK but ends in disappointment?
It’s not just you. That pretty much is your thirties. Most of the people I know in their 20’s (at least their early 20’s) are still making a point to hang out. Most of the guys over 60 are playing golf or getting a beer.
And then there’s my group: the ones who are working at their job all day, working at the endless list of projects around the house in the evenings, and spending the few spare moments they have in between with their family.
Sometimes I think maybe it would be nice to have more actual friends. But it doesn’t really bother me that I don’t. I’m pretty busy being a husband and a dad and everything in between and I’m happy with where I’m at right now. I know the way things are now is not permanent and nothing is set in stone.
On another note, the 30’s are good times. My favorite decade so far. Not always fun, but still good.
Can confirm. Am 34 and, despite numerous setbacks, my 30’s have still been my favorite decade so far.
Don doesn’t love himself or believe anyone else could love him. That’s understandable since he grew up being told very clearly that was unwanted. He keeps trying to fill this massive void in his life with professional success, drinking, and philandering but it all just leaves him feeling empty.
Don needs some serious therapy, which would have been incredibly difficult to come by in the 1960’s.
The Brave Little Toaster. I loved that movie cause what little kid doesn’t want to watch a bunch of singing appliances? It’s actually a really good movie but the themes about existential crisis and the need for purpose are way over a kids head. Also, the clown scene gave me nightmares.
Don’t do anything you’re going to have to lie about. If you do, don’t lie about it. If you do, make it right as soon as possible.
This is something I learned from experience. I have plenty of problems in my life but a heavy conscience isn’t one of them.
Was bending a piece of sheet metal on a 10 ft. bending brake. Stupidly had both my hands in the jaws trying to adjust the workpiece when the jaws partially closed on my hands. Imagine having all your fingers sandwiched between two thick steel plates because that’s basically what happened. It wasn’t really pushing down but just the weight of the jaws alone was enough that I was stuck and couldn’t get my hands out.
It didn’t hurt initially. Just felt like very intense pressure. I started hollering for help. Eventually another guy in the shop saw me and came running over to open the jaws. As soon as he did, I got this sharp, shooting pain in all my fingers. I think I hopped all over the shop, screaming obscenities. Had to just hold ice packs all day to keep the swelling down.
Didn’t lose any of my fingers. Didn’t even break any bones, somehow. Just bruised them really severely. It hurt like a son of a bitch but I was incredibly lucky.
I live just a few miles from Crystal Bridges, which is world class art museum founded by Alice Walton. They don’t charge any admission since they’re funded by a pretty hefty endowment. It’s a really cool place.
Seeing a photograph of a painting is a far cry from seeing the actual painting. If for no other reason than a photograph is two dimensional. It’s a little harder to appreciate art that someone made with their own hands two centuries ago when you can’t see the texture or the defects. Not even in a really high quality photo. It’s just not the same.
And you don’t touch the paintings because there are security guards everywhere who have no problem reminding you to not touch the paintings.
I know lots of people who aren’t depressed.
We also understand a lot more about mental health than we used to, including the fact that mental health challenges are not as unusual as they were once thought to be. Growing up in the 90’s and early 2000’s, I was just a “lazy”, “unmotivated”, and “inattentive” kid. You know, a “space cadet.” I now know that I have ADHD. I have also struggled with depression since childhood. Depression, anxiety, and emotional disregularion are often comorbidities with or symptoms of ADHD. Getting a diagnosis and on proper medication was life changing for me.
But, lack of happiness is not the same as depression. I think sometimes people get those confused. You can be unhappy without being depressed. I would say that there’s a whole lot more unhappy people in the world than depressed people. I also think people often look for joy in the wrong places and expect that “stuff” is going to make them happy. It works. For a bit. But that kind of happiness quickly vaporizes and leaves you feeling as empty as you felt before.
Real happiness comes from a sense of fulfillment. That looks different to different people. I feel happiest when I feel like I’m “grounded”. When I get time to shake off all the responsibilities and BS that gets piled on my plate. Sometimes that’s when I’m kneeling in church on a Sunday morning or taking time out of my relentless schedule to play with my kids. Or when I can get my wife to go for a walk with me. Especially when I can do something that makes someone else’s day a little brighter.
It took a lot of searching to find the things that bring me joy. And the only way to really know if something will is to experience it. Life is hard. On some level there’s just no way around that. But it can also be good. Personally, I’ve had a LOT of hard days. But I’ve had a lot of good days too. For me it makes the hard days worth it.
Too expensive and unhealthy to be an “every day” luxury but I do love a good scotch and a cigar to unwind.
In my case:
If you’re falling in love with someone who’s “perfect”, you’re probably falling in love with someone who has an undiagnosed mental illness and is very good at pretending to be the person she thinks you want her to be, for a while.
She will spend the next 6 years making your life very, very miserable.
Double edged sword. Jon would make a great President. But, I also bet he would be miserable doing the job and I would really hate to do that do him.
What’s sad is there are plenty of actual problems out there that could be solved with software. Most of the time they’re not that ‘sexy’ and management is so blinded by greed that they throw away all the good opportunities.
Not so much what I did as what I didn’t do. I was picking up a birthday cake for one of my kids and I was standing in line behind a lady who was obviously doing the same thing. Based on her appearance and the fact that she was fumbling through her wallet while on the phone with the bank, I got the sense that she was a little short on cash.
Something told me I should go ahead and pay for her cake. I could easily afford it so why not? For whatever reason I chickened out. I don’t know why.
I left there with my kids birthday cake, feeling very ashamed of myself. It was a small thing and yet to me it was a serious moral failure.